


Doctor Doom Buys A Phone

by LadyxIris



Category: Doctor Doom - Fandom, Fantastic Four, Infamous Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Comics
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Takes place near the beginning of the Infamous Iron Man series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-13 17:46:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18035978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyxIris/pseuds/LadyxIris
Summary: In Infamous Iron Man, Amara Perera complains about Victor not sending a text through a phone before he teleports in, to which his response is, "I don't have one."As a direct result of that, off the pages of the comics, he has now decided to go out and attempt to buy himself a phone. Although he may no longer harbor any ill intent, he still needs to work on his "people skills" - as most are put off by his dramatic and somewhat threatening aura.





	1. Doctor Doom (attempts to) Buy A Phone

                It was a normal afternoon, filled with counting inventories and working the register. Few walked into the AT&T store that day, and I preferred it stayed that way. A few customers, I could handle. If only twenty showed up that day, no matter how troublesome those twenty were, it’d be an infinitely better day than the mad rush that came in during Cyber Monday. That’s what I’d always thought. Until today.

                I looked up from the cash register and almost jumped when I noticed a new customer was in the store. The door bell had not rung, and there were no cars in the parking lot. He calmly cruised the aisles, and a chilling air of solemnity seemed to suffocate the room. He had a sharp complexion with dark undertones. Something about him terrified me. He stood in front of a display case for a moment, quickly scrutinizing the phones. Whichever phone he was looking at, he didn’t look too impressed. At last he lifted it up, and it turned out to be the most expensive phone in the store – an iPhone X. I blinked. If he wasn’t impressed by the phone itself, he _had_ to be impressed by its cost. It would have taken me a year of saving to earn enough for that.

                Without hesitation, he brought the thousand-dollar phone to the cash register. From the breast pocket of his Dior suit he produced a $5000 bill and placed it on the counter alongside the phone. _Didn’t that go out of production ages ago? Is he serious? A $5000 bill?_ I wondered. I hadn’t realized that I was just standing there, dumbfounded, until he spoke.

                “I would like to buy a phone. This suffices,” He nodded at the iPhone X. _“Suffices”?_ I thought incredulously. “I assume that is enough?” He gestured to the five-thousand-dollar bill. He had an accent – Eastern European – but I couldn’t place from where.

                “Um…” I started, trailing off. He raised an eyebrow. I decided to stick with the script. “Hi! Welcome to AT&T. What would you like today?” _Not that early in the script!_

“I thought I was clear on that matter,” he exhaled, slightly irritated. “I would like –“

                “Yes, sorry, I heard you.” I cut him off. For a moment an indignant complexion came over his face, but just as quickly it went away, replaced with his normal, brooding gaze. It was the eyes of someone who had seen much more of the universe than anyone would know. Of someone not used to being cut off.

                “Umm…” I took the phone in my hands. Then the five-thousand-dollar bill. “Do you have an ID?”

                “Why do you require an ID?”

                “This… well…” I turned over the $5000 bill. It seemed real enough. “You must realize this looks sort of shady,” I nervously laughed. He didn’t laugh along.

                “I do not understand. I went through the great trouble of converting my native francs to the American dollar, and now you will not accept it?”

                “It’s – it’s not that,” I quickly replied, however that did raise a red flag. No legal money conversion through the government would allow a five-thousand-dollar bill fall into his hands, a bill that has been out of production for… well honestly, I didn’t know how long. But quite a while. “You need an ID to buy a phone.”

                “This is ridiculous,” he replied. “I require a phone. Dr. Per –” he cut himself off. “A woman requested I buy one. I had no use for it before, but she wishes for prior notice before I appear at her lab. I implore you, it is in the best interest for both you and I that this transaction goes through.”

                “’Appear’ at her lab?” I asked curiously. “What, you’re teleporting in, Nightcrawler style?”

                He looked amused for a moment and said nothing. But most importantly, he did not deny it.

                “Sir, I’m sorry, I’d like to give you a phone, but I can’t. It’s just my job. I need an ID, especially if you plan on buying the most expensive phone out there.”

                “Once again, what is the purpose of the ID?” he asked, disgruntled.

                “I don’t know,” I responded. “To make sure you’re not a criminal or one of those SHIELD’s-most-wanted supervillains or something,” I joked. He frowned, and something in his expression made me unsettled. I tapped my hand on the counter, trying to work off the jitters as the regal man glared at me across the counter. “Um…” I laughed nervously. “I’ll… I mean I guess I can make an exception if you have a credit card or something. Just so I have your name. Do you have that?”

                “Yes. I also have an ID. But you may see neither.”

                I finally worked up the nerve to ask it. “Why?”

                “I…” for once, he looked lost for words. Different answers seemed to roll through his brain, but he voiced none of them. At last he answered. “Fine. Keep the phone. And the money, for now. This bill was actually stolen by the Hood. After I turned him in, I reimbursed the original owner triple its worth in Lat—" he cut himself off. “In my native county’s francs.”

                “I’m not well versed in criminology or anything, but I think that’s a crime,” I responded.

                “It is the same as all of your superheroes. Criminal lines blur when it comes to vigilantes, does it not? The Fantastic Four, for one, have broken dozens upon dozens of international laws, yet avoid all consequence. Well…” He looked lost in thought for a moment. “Avoided all consequence until a few years ago. But that was a meager manufactured sentence.”

                I blinked at him once again, dumbfounded. All I could manage was, “Isn’t the Fantastic Four dead now?”

                He looked away. “No. Ben Grimm and Jonathan Storm still live. The rest… their fate is uncertain.” He then fully turned away and headed towards the door. “I will be back when they fully legalize my ID. If they ever. You are lucky, a few years ago I would have taken the phone by force. But today, I am patient. I will create my own communication device instead.”

As he opened the door, I finally worked up the nerve to ask him the ultimate question.

“Who are you?”

He looked back, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Watch the news. No matter what, you will be bound to see me. The question is which mask of iron I wear. Now, the universe is free to look upon my visage. But if I ever revert back to my past self… where I hide my face from the world.” He slightly tilted his head to the side bemusedly. “You’ll regret having not sold me the phone.”

                In between blinks, he suddenly disappeared. The door closed, the mass that once supported it having suddenly vanished. At last I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                That night, I felt inclined to watch the news. Sitting on the floor in front of the TV, sipping up ramen noodles, my eyes were glued on the newest superhero predicament. And nothing compared to the sheer bewilderment and terror that filled me when I saw the man’s familiar face upon the screen, donning an iron man armor even more advanced than the late Tony Stark’s.  And even worse was the headline under the video – “INFAMOUS IRON MAN – Heroic Doctor Doom?”.

                Doctor Doom. _Monarch of Latveria? Enemy of the Fantastic Four? Mass-murderer?_ That _Doctor Doom?_ Despite all the terrifying implications that came with the encounter, one ridiculous thing kept repeating in my head that made me giggle despite my mounting terror.

_Doctor Doom. THE Doctor Doom. Just tried to buy a phone. And I turned him away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After reading about all Fantastic Four (and Doom) comics from 1995-2019, for some reason this is the one thing I felt like I just Had to write. I kept thinking about it til I was like "you know what? stop procrastinating writing". But instead of writing something else productive (cough cough my novel or the essay I have to write by monday) I decided to spend an hour having Doctor Doom try to buy a phone and fail. Worth it. I MAY make a part 2 after the "herald of doom" arc in the current FF comics is finished, but that'll be in a few months. Anyways thanks for reading!


	2. The Thing Questions Doctor Doom Buying A Phone

It was another perfectly normal afternoon working the AT&T store - just the way I liked it. Clean the windows? I can do that. Man the cashier? A bit tougher, but no problem. Explain to a megalomaniac ex-dictator that he can’t buy a $1000 phone with a $5000 bill (that’s been out of circulation for decades!) and an illegal ID? Well that wasn’t in the job description, and I certainly wouldn’t sign up for the job if it was.

I continued cleaning the door’s glass, making sure not a speck of ice cream remained. Some kid decided to bring in an ice cream cone, despite the glaring red sign on the front door that read “NO FOOD ALLOWED”. I suppose it wouldn’t stop them if they couldn’t read.

My manager passed by and smiled, and I shot a limp smile back. _If only he had been here two days ago!_ Two days have passed, and nobody noticed that Doctor Doom came sauntering right into the AT&T store. I had been the only one working that day, and I suppose nobody monitored the video surveillance the store had. So much help that was. Nobody knew about the encounter, and nobody _would_ know about the encounter – unless I became one of those old ladies that told personal tales so ridiculous (yet true!) that nobody believed them. I decided against that. Whatever happened would be kept between me, and whoever Doctor Doom was masquerading as nowadays. _Wait a minute, did I miss a superhero news broadcast or something? Why did he wake up one morning and decide to relinquish his country? And why –_

I stopped wiping the door for a moment to focus on an object. In the distance, something colored a dull orange was slowly getting closer to the door. I blinked my eyes for a moment. _Damn, I need glasses._ As it got closer, its size grew exponentially - wasn’t just _some_ thing, it was a _large_ thing.

Finally, my eyes focused, and it all snapped in place. It was _the_ Thing, and he didn’t look very happy. Dressed in a suit bearing the emblem of S.H.I.E.L.D, he stopped at the door and frowned down at me. First, I moved out of the way, then rushed back to the door when I realized it was my job to greet customers courteously at the door. I held one door open, and then realized that one door couldn’t fit someone of his large stature. I smiled weakly, and then tried to open the other door with my foot – however, this now meant that my leg was blocking the doorway. _Why am I such an idiot._

He took off his fedora and sighed. “Don’ worry about it, just get outta the way”. I zipped back into the shop and the doors slammed closed. He extended two rocky orange hands and opened the doors for himself, and then just stood in front of me, crossing his arms.

“Uhh…” I trailed off, looking up at the large figure looming over me. His pebbled face still held a grumpy disapproving look. “Welcome to AT&T, Mr. ….” _God, how could I forget?_ “Mr. Grimm! Welcome. Umm. Is there something you’re looking for?”

“Yeah. Are you Miss Deleanu?”

“Nadia Deleanu, yes,” I confusedly replied. “What is this about?”

“Do I even hafta explain?” He raised one rocky eyebrow. “Ol’ Victor walked in here the other day, dropped off some money, and left. Would _you_ care to explain that?”

“What? What Vic—"

“Victor. Victor von Doom. Doctor Doom. That Victor. Waltzed in and handed ya fraudulent money. Ya better explain _now,_ or you’ll be talking to Maria Hill of S.H.I.E.L.D in a few minutes.”

“Woah, woah,” I backed up, raising my hands. “I didn’t do anything! I didn’t ask to speak to him! He just walked in here and tried to buy a phone!”

“What?” For the first time, his frown changed to confusion. “You’re tellin’ me genius Doc Doom tried to buy hisself a phone.”

“I don’t know? Yes? If you somehow knew he walked in here with your super spy S.H.I.E.L.D gear, why don’t you have access to the audio on the video surveillance?”

“Your video surveillance don’t have audio!”

“Oh.”

I rocked back and forth on my feet. Grimm still looked at me skeptically.

            “An’ you didn’t sell him the phone?”

            “No? It’s illegal.”

            “So is talkin’ to number one terrorist Doc Doom without reporting it.”

            “For the last time, I didn’t know that was him!”

            “What do you mean for the last time? Ya never told me that information before!”

            “I – I thought I –“ I sighed, frustration mounting. “I thought I did? What else did I not tell you? Did I tell you anything at all? Alright fine, here’s the story! A man walked in, tried to buy a phone with a $5000 bill _waaaay_ out of circulation, wouldn’t show me his ID, and left saying some vague and ominous words. I went home that night and saw that the face of the man matched the face of the new ‘Iron Man’, who was Doom. That’s it.” Out of breath, I sat on the register counter. It was unprofessional, but at the moment, I didn’t care. “Also, what are you hunting him down for? He do something bad? Well, I mean obviously he has, but –“

            “An’ what happened to the bill?” He finally asked, cutting me off.

            “The… wait, what?”

            “The $5000 bill he gave you!”

            “Oh!” Somehow that hadn’t registered the first time. “It’s here. I put it in the shelf.” I slid open the shelf and handed Grimm the bill.

            “$5000 and ya just kept it lyin’ around like that?” he asked, looking at it.

            “He told me to hold on to it, and I had no clue what to do with it. I couldn’t put it in the register because that much money deposited with no transaction is kinda shady. Couldn’t pocket it either because once again – shady. Also morally questionable. What else to do?”

            “Somebody coulda’ easily stolen it.”

            “Who cares, the money was stolen anyways. And I don’t think any stores would accept the bill.”

            He was still studying it when he stuffed his fedora under his armpit and took out a device. It scanned the bill, and he focused on its mini monitor. “I dunno if following my intuition is the right thing ta do, but I believe ya. You’re off the hook for now. Sorry ‘bout havin’ to even _speak_ to Doomsy, he can be a real pain in the behind.” He pressed a few buttons, and the device chirped. “Yep, that’s Vic’s fingerprints. I’m gonna be confiscating this now if it’s fine with you.”

            “I don’t care, take it,” I replied, swatting the air. “But I don’t have a choice, do I?”

            “Heh.” He looked up at me amusedly, and put the device away. “So ya really ain’t in cahoots with the doc?”

            “Do I look like a supervillain? No!”

            He smirked slightly and looked at the ground for a moment. “Well, stay good, kid. I’ll get back ta you if I have more questions.” He then turned his breast pocket inside out and caught a business card as it floated towards the ground. He then held it out towards me. “And if Doc Doom ever comes waltzin’ in here ‘gain, make sure ya call me. Right away. The longer he’s out there doin’ I dunno what, the longer the world’s in danger.”

            I took the card and looked into it. “Benjamin Grimm – Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D”. An email address and a few phone numbers. It said nothing about the Fantastic Four. He turned towards the exit when I called out to him.

            “Wait, I have questions for you, though.”

            He sighed and stood still for a moment, and he slowly turned. “Aww, alright kid, shoot.”

            Now that I thought about it, I didn’t know _what_ to ask. Anything with the Fantastic Four would probably be a touchy subject with him, given that half the team died not very long ago. So, I asked the only thing I could ask. “How are you?”

            He chortled. “You meet the ever-lovin’ blue-eyed Thing, and that’s what ya gotta ask?” He smiled, and put the fedora back on his head. “Not gonna lie to you, it’s been tough. All of it. I miss them every day, and I can’t look at matchstick Johnny without bein’ reminded of them. But I’ll be okay. One day. I’ll hafta be.” He looked off woefully for a second, and then turned and tipped his fedora. “Be sein’ ya, Miss Nadia. Pray ya don’t run into the doc again.”

            As he finally made his way towards the door, Spider-Man showed up right outside, out of the blue. _Spider-Man?? Am I just going to be running into every hero and villain from now on?_

            “Heyya, Ben!” the spider quipped cheerfully, taking a bright flash photo of him and then swinging away.

            “Hey!” Grimm yelled, raising his arm scoldingly in the air. “What wuz that for! Hey, get back here, web-head! PETE—”

            He stopped suddenly, and Grimm looked back at me with big eyes. It was then his turn to laugh nervously. “Yeah… uhh… G’bye.” Soon he was out the door, and off into the horizon.

            “Nadia! What in the blazes are you doing on the counter? Get down _now_.” I turned. It was my manager, and apparently, I had forgotten I was sitting on top of the counter.

            “Did… did you not just see… he…” I didn’t know how to speak for a second. “The Thing was in here! And Spider-Man was outside!”

            “Well, if Mr. Benjamin Grimm was in here, I’d expect you to show him the courtesy of not sitting on the counter!” The manager replied curtly in his southern accent, checking the prices of a few products.

            I wanted to argue back, but decided to just let it rest. Even when he’s here, he _still_ misses the Super standing in the middle of his store. _First Doctor Doom, now the Thing. Who’s next, Human Torch?_

 

Although I had thought that as a joke, I had no expectations of ever meeting a super again. They were cool and all to watch on TV, but getting tangled up in their drama is just… _too much._ Sometimes it’s better to watch from afar. But you know what fate did? Took my joke and turned it back upon me. Because the very next day Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, walked in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was just going to be a small one-shot just for fun, but then I got bored and decided to show how simply coming into contact with Doom could spiral your whole world out of control. Meet him once and next thing you know, the the whole Fantastic Four is knocking on your door.


End file.
